One thing that disturbs me about the occasional Popcorn Frenzy (courtesy of the disturbingly mauve popcorn popper, whose box was disposed of recently) is that at least half the corns don't make it to popcorn status. This doesn't seem fair, somehow, as they've also been denied the transition to proper corn. They look up at me balefully (and eyelessly, I hasten to add) from a halo of salt at the bottom of the bowl.

"Y'know," they seem to be saying, "if I'd have known it would end like this, I don't think I'd have bothered. Better to have stayed in the field."

I sympathise. Sometimes I try to eat the unpopped corn as a gesture of solidarity, but it's not really the same.

By what process of selection are the successful popcorn divided from the unsuccessful? Has anyone done research into this question, and asked how they process could be made more efficient, less wasteful?

Actually, I suppose from an evolutionary point of view, they're all failures, as a successful kernel would be waving from a Midwest field next autumn.